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At the beginning, he comes on strong – he pursues you relentlessly, buys you gifts, compliments you, plans dates and outings, makes an effort to make you feel special…then, months down the track; it stops. He stops complimenting you and starts to seem distant, he says he’s ‘too busy’ or ‘under a lot of stress’, he stops planning things and even becomes more passive, or says he’s not sure about his feelings for you, and goes hot and cold.
Here’s an interesting conclusion from a recent study: When men fall in love, their testosterone levels lower. Have you ever promised yourself you would do NEVER do something EVER again, like, say, never lose your temper with your man again, or never eat a chocolate candy bar again, and then….ultimately, you do?
However, when women fall in love, their testosterone levels are increased (creating more equal testosterone levels in the man and the woman) and because of this, at this early stage of the relationship, men and women than they normally would in their behaviour and interactions. It tells you that after a few months, even 3-9 months, your instincts aren’t such a strong driving force anymore, and the other parts of your personality as well as the other parts of your man start to surface. And not only that – but because your behaviour and your biochemistry starts to become more and more different after the initial period, he (the man) starts to meet a resistance (which I will talk more about below). And after you do it, you think “hang on, what am I doing? This is the subconscious part of your brain simply going for what feels great in the moment.
Now, this is not the path every man/woman relationship always takes, but it is certainly the same path many women have had to go through.
So –Well, it’s partly because he has become a different person, and so have you.
(Click here to take the quiz “Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man?
”)Here is what happened: When we are in lust, or even when we fall in love at the beginning of a relationship, our instincts are at work – a primitive part of the brain, a part that some call the ‘lizard brain’.
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This is the part of the brain that is in every living creature – of course, reptiles included. Survival is paramount, for this part of our brain, and so is baby making.
When you are very attracted to someone at the beginning, you (and them) subconsciously put out the ‘best’ parts of yourself, whether you like it or not. At this stage, the man claims he loves babies, children and prams, and the woman is crazy about the man, wants sex a lot, and is far easier to make happy.