Before you move: Make sure your utilities are connected It probably won’t work if he imagines living in open plan lofts in busy inner city areas and she dreams of setting up in a big house in the burbs.
Ask some basic questions: do you genuinely like each other? Do you have the same vision of the future together? If he likes going out late drinking and partying and she likes working hard and getting up early for a bike ride it probably just isn’t going to work.
You might know some of this already if you’re out of the glow of those early days in the “honeymoon period” but it’s important to discuss what your expectations are in terms of the daily grind – who will do the cleaning, cooking or take out the garbage? If not, it’s bound to happen, so how will you deal with it?
If not, do a test run for a month or so at one or other of your houses.
Of course the reality of actually living together will be different, but it’s as close as you’ll get to the real thing before you take the plunge. On its own, moving is costly, and moving in ties you together financially even if you keep the finances separate.
“Moving from dating to sleeping over to sleeping over a lot to cohabitation can be a gradual slope, one not marked by rings or ceremonies or sometimes even a conversation.
Couples bypass talking about why they want to live together and what it will mean.” The unwanted result of sliding can be a messy ending: it’s nowhere near as easy to slide out of living together as it is to slide into it.
Read more: How to house hunt with a mate Without creating a gender war, research shows that women may to view living together as a step toward marriage or long term commitment, while men may lsee it as a relationship tester or even a way to postpone formal commitment.
How do you know when it’s time to pop the question? We don’t want to sound like mum and dad, but is this really the right decision for you? A article highlights the phenomenon of couples ‘sliding not deciding’ to live together.
Cohabiting with the love of your life can seem like a good idea, but there are many things to consider before you take each other’s hand and press the Search button on au.
Moving in together might be the best thing you ever do, but it comes with its own stressors and is responsible for making – and breaking – many relationships. Have you met the family and really got to know each other through some everyday highs and lows? Is there a toothbrush in the bathroom and have you taken over a drawer for your stuff?
Living together means seeing each other at your best and worst. Chances are you have a fair idea of what living together would involve then.
You need to make sure you and your partner can cover the costs of sharing, and discuss and plan how you’ll split the expenses like rental bond, weekly rent, bills and groceries.
If it all comes crashing down how will you deal with the fall out? Some people even recommend setting up a formal ‘living together agreement’, but that may be excessive for you.